Reunited--Double LP World's Excited...

I recently re-united with an old friend from high school. And the best thing that I heard when I was with her was, "Sam, you haven't changed a bit, you are still the same!" And I am thinking in my head, "Well, Duh- What else am I supposed to be??" But then I realized that I really AM the same. Same cell phone number, same address, same hair color, same height( Ah, I had to do it to myself!), same ME! And thats what I try to be. 10 years from now, I want my high school friends to see me and say you haven't changed! Just that will make me happy in life, knowing that I stayed consistent throughout, not changing who I am for anyone or anything. (AND If you don't like what you see, you dont have to watch!)

More Confessions

I must confess...

That I am in lust with the game Scramble! from Facebook
That I secretly am addicted to reality television
That I cannot live without my hair straightener
That no matter how hard I try, I still can't forget...
That my room is always a mess but my thoughts are always organized
That my family is my heart!
That I could eat rice all day, everyday and twice on Sundays
That my cooking skills are not quite up to par
That I have done alot of fucked up shit to alot of people
That my Mom holds me down more than anyone in the whole world
That I don't always know what I want or who I want to be
That music is what keeps me somewhat sane
That you live and you learn!

Back In The Day ( Pt. Four)...

So i'm at the local police station filling out a statement against Mark, who just totally scared the hell out of me by coming to my place of employment and attempting to hide underneath my car. And despite me explaining that I wanted to having nothing to do with him, he was still in search of a way to see me, speak to me or just even feel my presence around him. It even got to the point where my mother and I were in a room at the station filling out the statement when my cell phone rings and IT'S HIM ON THE OTHER END. He was crazy enough to choose my telephone number as the phonecall that he got to make. Now honestly, who gets arrested and then calls the person that had them arrested inside the police station?
Call me cruel for not having any remorse for this situation, but it was more traumatic for me than most realize. Being 17 years old and having an ex boyfriend basically stalk you after you break up is not how I expected to live my life that year or for the next two years if you really want to get technical.
That night, after the whole situation was over, I called 'lightskin' and him and I spoke for awhile about what had just happened to me. He was comforting and that made me feel better than I thought that it would. He told me he'd call me the next day(AND he actually did!)
When I got that phonecall the next day, I was happier than a fucking kid in a candy store with unlimited funds. I met up with 'lighskin' and we smoked, he drank and we both shared good conversation(since the beginning of me knowing him). He told me that he was going out of town for the week and gave me his friend's number if I needed some herb. And that's how I met JJ...

My Very First Totally Random Post: Fried Chicken And Frank's RedHot

I recently became a fan of hotsauce and even more of a fan of fried chicken. Yes, I know it's fried and probably really fattening depending on how much grease it's soaked in, but none the less, it's good to me. But when that mix of vinegar and spice coat the chicken...let me stop, my mouth is watering already!
Needless to say, before I came to work today( I only work in the afternoons), I stopped to pick up two pieces of fried chicken with hotsauce. If you saw how I devoured that chicken, you would not look at me; all 125 lbs. and five feet of me...the same.
So as I sit here at work still thinking about that delicious lunch that I had, I can't help but to wonder if i'll get sick of it if I eat it again for dinner!?

Back In The Day (Pt. Three)...

Like I said, I wish I could just end the story where the last post left off. However, there are alot more juicy details that can be shared about this. Please take into consideration that I was only 17 years old during this time and that some may have handled it differently, but I had my own way of coping. Anyway, I called it off with Mark a week or so before my junior prom. And for some ungodly reason, he still took me, despite the crazy reaction my mom gave me when I told her we were still going together. But, like a good mother, she kept her mouth shut , took pictures and if I recall correctly, even brought him and I to the prom location.
The day that I had told him that I didn't want to be his girlfriend anymore, I was driving from his house to my house and I noticed a fly, tall, lightskin guy with braids at the corner of the street, where I was stopped at a red light. We exchanged glances and eventually words all before the light turned green again. I was somewhat upset about ending a relay that felt so comfortable, but I was ready for something new ( I was 17!!) I immediately called the number that I was given and I met up with 'Lightskin' like an hour later. He got me high and we talked for hours. That was when I realized that I had made a good decision in ending my previous relay. If I could just meet someone and have a better time with them than the person that I was spending everyday for seven months with...believe me - the lightbulb went off right there! 'Lightskin' and I became good friends after that and little did I know, but I would turn to him when some of the craziest bullshit in my life was going on. Even though I realized Mark was not the one for me, like I said, we still went to my junior prom together. That just so happened to be the absolute last day that I cared about who, what, when, where or why with Mark. And I think he must have eventually caught on that I wanted nothing to do with him, but instead of letting it go, he made things much worse by attempting to contact me in every way possible. I mean phone calls, letters, other people calling for him, emails, suprise visits, the whole nine. His trying to contact me got so out of hand that he actually came to my place of employment on a friday night to try to reconcile. I was the only one in the shop that I worked in, besides my boss that night that he came. Picture it being 10:30 pm or so on a friday in a shopping center where the only lights on are in the place you are working. A bit uncomfortable, but not terrible, right? WRONG. To make a long story short, I went to bring the garbage outside and he was there. Standing right next to my car. I remember dropping the garbage and running back inside. Someone driving past the shop I was working in saw Mark running to the other side of the building and called the police. By the time the authorities arrived, Mark was trying to slide himself underneath my car or trying to slide himself out from underneath my car. The cops arrested him and I had to follow him to the police station to make out a statement. I was scared, I couldn't believe that someone would be so crazy to do this. I just kept thinking, 'What did I do to deserve this?'

Some May Wonder...

Some followers of this blog may start to wonder why I chose the name that I did to represent myself. I have already been asked if I was french and the answer wil reveal itself in a minute. I've used this name in the past and some flatout tell me they know I'm not french, so why am I French Vanilla. Well, here I go.
If you know anything about one of the greatest rap groups known on this earth AND my favorite rap group known to this earth, you can certainly understand where I got my name from. 'French vanilla, Butter pecan, Chocolate deluxe - even Caramel sundaes is gettin touched, And scooped in my ice cream truck. Wu tears it up'. Make sense to ya now?
So for all you out there, to set the record straight..my complexion is what's French Vanilla and i'm 100% italian. Maybe I should have named this blog, ' Confessions Of A Lemon Italian Ice'...
LUUUVVV

As I Sit...

As I sit at a friend's house on this rainy friday night, I can't help but to be thankful for the life God has given me. Even though I have been through plenty of hardships and have gotten to the point of where I wanted to quit, I have still maintained that faith to strive! I am currently going thru some bullshit right now that will only prove to make me a better and stronger person once I overcome. But I really wanted to take a moment, because I am feeling a bit sentimental- to shout out a few people who have truly made a difference in my life.
First and foremost, my Mother for blessing me with life and for the continuous love that you, without fail show me on a daily basis. Secondly, my first best friend, my Brother for showing me the true meaning of unconditional love. No matter how much arguing and disagreeing that we do, my love will be larger than the moon! Alison Lee, for always being there to make me smile..for always understanding and for always remembering where you came from. Love forever. Tabytha, for knowing me like your favorite book and for the constant support no matter if it's wrong or right. And last but definately not least, Jojo, for building me up when I was nothing, for forgiving my bullshit, and loving me no matter how many faults I may have.
Ok, so i'm offically done with the sappy shit. But I needed to get that off my chest. I'm sitting here with great friends, listening to great music and drinking my favorite wine - Yellow Tail!
And on the same note, and speaking of great music - please visit two links on this blog. One is BettaDenU page and the other is the Deniro page. If you are looking to listen to some ill music, please do not hesitate to view and listen! One thing about me is that I would NOT put some crazyness on here if I didn't believe in it or think it was the truth. Remember that!
LUVVVVVVVV

Back In The Day (Pt. Two)...

...So I came home smelling like marijuana that night. I was grounded. My car was taken away and all that equaled was torture and hell for me. I went nowhere for like two weeks; school and work and home. Nothing more. But once my privledges were finally restored, I went back to the same old bullshit as before. For seven months straight, I lied and continued getting high and kept getting into trouble with my father. I continued driving to New York, even though I was told not to and even made things worse by getting a parking ticket in the middle of Harlem. That set my father over the edge when the mail came and there was an envelope from the New York City Parking Authority...
It wasn't until around then, almost seven months into the relay that I began to realize the signs. And like clockwork, everything fell into place, i mean pieces (haha). The ticket was the first sign and soon after catching that, I had my drivers side window smashed to bits. Yes, in The Bronx. And not too long after my window was destroyed, I got a flat tire on the way home one night. Yes, driving home from The Bronx. But the straw that had broke the camel's back was when I was stupid enough to let someone without a driver's license drive my car. And you can guess that that didn't have a pleasant outcome. Again, in The Bronx - Mark was driving and claimed the brake pedal was going to the floor - Yea, we rear-ended someone coming off of the Whitestone Bridge exit in a faulty attempt to stop my car. The only good thing about that incident was that the person that we hit felt the car had not done as much damage as it seemed and we left the scene after exchanging insurance information. Two weeks later, I ended it with Mark. But I wish I could say that the story ended there...

Back In The Day (Pt. One)...

Back in the day; circa 2002, I was a sophmore in high school. I couldn't wait to turn 16 and be able to drive. Like any typical 15 (going on 25) year old girl, I wanted and thought I needed freedom from everyone. But once I turned 16 and actually had a driver's license and the freedom that goes with it - everyone realized that I couldn't handle it.
The summer that I started driving, which was also summer 2003; I learned some very valuable lessons and it wasn't up until recently that they came into play yet again ( As does everything, think full circle here people). So back to my point of not being able to handle the privledge I was given...
I began dating someone who was definately not and I stress 'not' compatible to me in any way. He was older, more experienced, I thought he was wiser than myself (and at 16, he was to a certain extent) and not to mention, he was everything that my father hated. He was from a nearby town but had family members living in The Bronx, NY. Let's just call him Mark. Mark had no driver's license at 22 years old and he was and immigrant of Jamaica. Little did I know, but came to find out close to the time we had separated, that he was married to a woman to become a citizen of the United States. Every sign and signal that one person could receive to alert them that someone is not right for them was blaring all around me and I never knew. Until we starting visiting The Bronx...
At that point in time, Mark and I were using my car and my gas to go to New York at least three times a week. I still had a curfew so there was always a time restriction. I used to lie to my father like it was nothing to get to stay out later so I would have enough time to get home from New York before I got grounded for being late. It worked nearly everytime until that night I came home reeking of reefer.

Hello Everyone!

Welcome to the Confessions Of A Fly French Vanilla! You have now entered my territory, mi casa, my crib, my lair, whatever you want to call it; which means I have free range at anything that comes my way!
NOW, a little about me: I am a twenty one year old white female living in Connecticut. (If you are lucky, you may find out exactly where!) I am a music junkie with a passion for real, hardcore music. My tattoos are my legal addiction and I NEEEEED MOOOOORE! I am inspired by anyone who believes they can make a difference or anyone who has actually made a difference. I love my family to the highest exent of the meaning and without them, I would be nothing. ( And they know that!)
SO without further hesitation, please please please enjoy what you are about to read! It's all true, all me and all life! These are my confessions...